Just The Way You Are

They say when you go to college, that that's where you "find yourself". You find your best friends that are going to be there for the most significant times in your life. You find your passion, what you want to do in life, though it may take a few trys...and you might change your mind...you figure it out somehow. You find your beliefs, what you stand for and what significance you want to leave behind. You find love...and though you may lose it, or you're still waiting...it's there and you know that you're capable of investing in someone and something greater than yourself. You find your strengths, after years of fighting through the weaknesses. You find responsibility, discipline, and taking care of yourself, and like all the other findings it takes LOTS of mistakes to get it right.

Life has this funny way of working things out. We're so tech-savvy these days that we stress over things that don't work out right away. We expect everything to be bigger, better, faster...yet we forget that good things take time, and that GREAT things take even longer. If you've ever spent a decent amount of time with me, I can almost guarantee that I've talked to you about StrengthsFinder 2.0. I think it's absolutely brilliant and it shed's light on finding your significance in life. Anyways, one of the co writers took that book even farther and wrote a book to help find your strengths in the workplace called "Standout". I could go on and on about how accurate this book is BUT basically it taught me that I'm a "provider" and a "teacher".

Providers begin by asking, "Is everyone okay?" You are acutely aware of others' emotional states, particularly if you sense they are feeling hurt or slighted. You are instinctively inclusive, always looking for ways to draw others into the circle and make them feel wanted, heard, and appreciated. You pay close attention to the differences between people, each person's likes, dislikes, and foibles. It's the only way to attend to their feelings, you think. You are protective of other people and will get angry or upset if you see behavior that is cavalier or dismissive of people's feelings. You are an intensely loyal and forgiving friend, but you are no pushover. Although your circle is large, it does have a perimeter, and if someone's behavior offends you, you will exile him beyond the perimeter. But this exile will not last, because, in your heart, you believe everyone can be understood, everyone can be redeemed, everyone can, in the end, be forgiven. At home and work, many will come to trust you and rely on you: you are their safe harbor, a consistently supportive presence in a world that doesn't care. And they love you for it.

Teacher's begin by asking, "What can he learn from this?" Your focus is instinctively toward the other person. Not his feelings, necessarily, but his understanding, his skills, and his performance. You see each person as a work in progress, and you are comfortable with this messiness. You don't expect him to be perfect; in fact, you don't want him to be perfect. You see the possibility in imperfection. You know that imperfection creates choice, and that choice leads to learning. Since you are energized by another person's growth, you look for signs of it. "Where was he last month?" you ask yourself. "What measurable progress have I seen?" You create novel ways to keep track of his performance and celebrate with him when he reaches new heights. You ask him a lot of questions to figure out what he knows and what he doesn't, how he learns best, what is important to him, and what journey he is on. Only then can you join him at the appropriate level and in the appropriate way. Only then can you help him learn.

When you combine "Providers" and "Teachers" you get "Investors". Your currency is people. You believe in the amazing potential of those you meet. You never stop considering what more you can do to support their growth and development. You care so much about your impact on those you serve that you constantly find ways to hone your craft, increase your knowledge, advance your qualifications. You take your professional development very seriously because you know that you have tremendous influence on other people. Sensitive and thoughtful, you always consider how people will be impacted by your message. You often follow up with people to ensure that "everything is OK." You protect your investment.

After reading my "Standout" assessment and looking back on my 4 years here at OU, I am slowly starting to understand myself. I think we get so caught up in everyone else...what everyone else is doing, how everyone else is treating you, the cards that life has dealt you...but we forget to take a step back and really take a look inward. Do something to help you better understand how YOU work and what YOU want to do with this precious time that we have here on earth. After 3 1/2 years of listening to countless professors and advisors, I feel like I've finally found myself. Things are falling apart all around me, yet I've never been so grounded in who I am and what I stand for. There's a great piece of mind in that...and because I want "everyone to be okay" I hope that you all will find yourself in this mess we call life :)