Drive Me Crazy

So lately I've been getting pretty deep with you guys, so I wanted to lighten the mood :) There are some seriously crazy people out there. We all do weird stuff, but I made a list of things that either bother me/aren't attractive/are just simply unexplainable. So here it goes...

Things I will never understand:

1.     People who cheat…if you don’t want to be in a relationship, don’t!

2.     People who don’t shower AT LEAST every other day

3.     Socks with flip-flops

4.     Skirts/shorts with ugg boots…pick a season!

5.     Boys who take longer to get ready than girls. This just doesn’t compute…y’all don’t have to dry your hair or put on makeup. No excuses.

6.     College professors who take attendance for a grade. You get paid either way so why do you care if we’re there or not?

7.     Broke people who still find the money to buy cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. Get your priorities in line.

8.     People who steal for a living. After all the time and effort you put into taking other people’s things you could have found a respectable job a McDonald’s!

9.     People who don’t like puppies or babies. Seriously, how can you not like something that small and innocent?

10.  The difference between partly sunny and partly cloudy. Maybe a meteorology major can help me with this one…

11.  Why people in horror movies always, and will continue to, ignore the obvious theme music. I just sit there yelling at the screen telling them to run. But they never do…

12.  Why do they call driveways driveways when they are meant for parking, but the Parkways are meant for driving.

13.  Crocs. No explanation required.

14.  Gauges, you have gigantic holes in your ears…what is the reasoning behind that?

15.  People who hate Macs. If you just don’t like them, cool, but passionate hate? why?

16.  Why did Nelly wear a band-aid on his face all the time?

17.  Why I never seem to run out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time.

18.  My hatred of procrastination, yet my non-relenting tendency to do it.

19.  People who recline their car seats to where they can barely see over the dash. Is this a cool factor or do you just have freakishly long arms?

20.  Why ranch isn’t included in every pizza box

21.  Bikers that stay in the middle of the road so you can’t pass OR refuse to use the rules of the road... like stop at red lights. If you're going to act like a car, use the same rules as cars!

22.  People who tweet their every thought. That’s what diaries are for!

23.  People who tweet pics of food they’re eating

24.  People who put stuffed animals in their cars’ front/back dashboard. You might as well have "child molester" written on your license plate.

25.  People who wear clothes that are entirely too small or big for their body. Too small and it gathers in places that we don’t want to see. Too big and well you don't really know WHAT's goin on under there.

26.  Telemarketers. Who wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves, “man I hope someone calls me and tries to sell me something I really don’t need today”?

27.  People who seem to be unaware of the fact that they have terrible B.O.

28.  People who switch the words around to describe the word they are trying to portray. Ex) Ethical Tendency is a tendency to be ethical. Wow now I get it!

29.  People who delete and re-friend on Facebook all the time.

30.  Teachers/Professors who teach on a subject they have no experience in. Ex) Teaching supervision skills when you’ve never supervised before

31.  People who are constantly late. Get a watch. Wake up earlier. Punctuality is a respectable trait!

32.  Tanerexia. When you’re white and you’re the same or a darker skin tone than your ethnic friends, you have a problem.

33.  People who try to make the red light but end up blocking the intersection. Impatient much?

34.  When you call someone and they don’t answer, but then they text you right back.

35.  When you tell someone you can’t talk because you’re on the phone and they continue to talk to you anyways.

36.  People who start fights/debates on facebook threads…that’s what messages are for!

37.  Local commercials...especially Norman.

38.  Girls who act drunk when they’re not. 

39. People who send you a friend request, you deny it, and then they ask again as if you DIDN'T deny it three other times.

40. People who always interrupt anytime anyone tries to talk to them. Ever. 

Learning to Let Go

Before I begin, I need put a disclaimer: this is a very sensitive subject for me. Everyone's entitled to their own way of living, loving, and learning. I write this in the hopes that you can take from what I've learned, and apply it to your own life... in your own way :)

In my first blog I wrote about my recent heartbreak. I don't know where each of you stands in your love life right now, but learning how to move on can be applied to any scenario. An ex boyfriend, a old job, a class that you didn't do so well in, an ex friend, a family member, etc. We are all in this web of intertwined relationships...some build us up, and some tear us down. But when is it time to look at those not-so-great relationships and say enough is enough?

My mom always told me that a healthy relationship is one where BOTH people are bettering each other. After all, if you're doing all the work...what's in it for you? As I write this, I think of that one friend that conveniently calls/texts me when they need something...the one that "catches up" with you for a few minutes and then discloses their underlying favor that they must ask of you. But when the times comes for the favor to be returned, that person is far too busy to lend a helping hand.

As this pertains to my last breakup, I must admit it's been the most exhausting/confusing/unexplainable feeling that I've ever had to endure. There are just some things in life that we are never going to understand. And sometimes coming to terms with the unknown is the only thing left to do! So how do you do it? I can't put a timeline on the time it takes to heal a broken heart. But what I can tell you is the cycle of moving on...in the only way I know possible!

This might sound weird, but moving on is much like grieving. There's a cycle, and while you may go through the cycle several times, you will eventually move past what you need to in time.

Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news. When things are going good for you, it is sometimes really hard to hear that happiness come to a halt. It takes days, even months sometimes to come to terms with a heartbreak or bad situation. For example, I remember high school graduation...everyone crying and sharing memories, etc. For me, I didn't shed a tear! It hadn't settled that this was the end. But eventually it hit me days later. I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn't sad when everyone around me seemed to be...but some people just process differently.

Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable. I am an optimist, so when bad things go wrong my first thought is "things will get better...he/she will come around". This can be a good thing at times, however, in most situations, it's giving myself false hope. This is most prevalent when relationships end, because after time passes, we remember the happiest moments with that person, versus the reasons why it ended in the first place. Having hope that that problem will change is normal, we all want to believe that we made good decisions, but it's important to know that God has a reason for pulling people apart. It's all part of the greater plan :)

Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion. While I'm not much of a confrontational/angry person this stage is hard to skip over. As humans we like to point our finger at others without taking a good look in the mirror. Knowing that you can place the blame on someone else seems to ease the pain, however, it takes two to tango people! It's okay to be angry when things come to an end, but don't take it out on those you love, and don't say anything you'll regret down the road. For me, I find an outlet in writing my thoughts down. Type up what you want to say so it's out there, and then delete it or write it down and trash it! Think of it as a less aggressive way of speaking your mind.

Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out. This is often the stage where I break down. After the fires of anger have been blow out, the next stage is a desperate round of bargaining, seeking ways to avoid having the bad thing happen. Bargaining is thus a vain expression of hope that the bad news is reversible. It's important to recognize that by taking risks, great things can come to you, but at the same time, things WILL go wrong... It's part of life!

Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable. Coming to terms with the finality can be relieving, or sometimes you think "what's next?' It's confusing for me, because I know that there's a reason for everything, but finding what lesson to take away from it is difficult! No matter how the person treated me, I like to think that that person is somewhat better from knowing me. That somehow through the ending of one relationship, they found a new happy beginning in another. I think God would want us to feel that for others.

Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions. After you've gone through the anger and sadness, you start to really be happy with yourself and just surrounding yourself with friends and family! You might have been avoiding songs, places, even people that brought back memories of that relationship. This stage is about coming out of that dark place and truly living again.

Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward. The biggest mistake you can do is digress from this stage. Don't reopen doors that were shut for a reason. By opening lines of communication with that person before this stage, it will only create more heartache and setback. Respect that individual enough to let them move on as well. Time heals all wounds, and I'm a big believer in reestablishing friendships ONCE both sides have moved on in a healthy way! 

Respect the cycle, people! Everyone's different, but we all hit the stages differently. Live and learn and smile until you eventually mean it :)

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

As most of you know, Valentines Day aka "Singles awareness day" is approaching! Guys it's THIS TUESDAY for those of you who lose track of time. On February 14th, couples across the world will celebrate the spirit of love, singles will flock together and grieve to each other over chocolate, Chinese, or buckets of ice cream, and others will disregard the holiday altogether. Hundreds of thousands of dollars will be spent on flowers, jewelry, cards, and candy. Some couples will tell their significant other they love them for the first time, boyfriends will propose to the girl of their dreams, some husbands will show a much needed act of love to their wives, and perhaps an old flame will rekindle.

Love is always an interesting topic to discuss because it is constantly changing. Some of you may be living a perfect fairy tale, others may be singles advocates, and some of you may be unsure about where you stand with that certain someone. As for me, I spent last Valentines Day in the Hills of Italy's wine country happily single. This year will be a much different scenery back in the states! But enough about me. This holiday has been criticized my many as commercialized and materialistic. While I don't have the best taste in my mouth about love at this point in my life, I do see many benefits to participating in Valentines Day.

Wondering what all the fuss is about? Why celebrate Valentines Day? For one, everyone wants and NEEDS to be loved. While many of you can be perfectly content with a simple relationship status, (boyfriend/girlfriend/married, etc.) it is always nice to hear those three words that reassure others of your feelings. It is always warming to see random acts of kindness and giving to show that you took the time out of your day to do something meaningful for someone else. 

BOYS...suck up your pride and do something spontaneous and sweet. Don't take a good woman for granted. Someday, someone will come along and appreciate what you didn't. Your girl may tell you that she doesn't need flowers and all that and that's perfectly fine...but get out of your element and show her how much you care. Valentines Day doesn't mean spend a lot of money. In fact, some of the most romantic gestures don't cost much at all! Take her on a picnic, make a homemade card, write her a letter of your most favorite memories together...the less materialistic and more thoughtful, the better! ONE DAY OUT OF THE YEAR do something that says "I'm your man and I can be romantic, too!"

GIRLS...don't expect too much. Mom always said expect the worst, and hope for the best. Movies like "The Notebook" and "The Vow" are setting unrealistic expectations for men these days. If your man remembers this special day, that in itself is a miracle! Be grateful that you have someone special to share it with and cherish it!

SINGLES...just remember this..."Saying you'll never love again is like saying you'll never smile again. As much as you don't want to do it eventually someone will come along and make you." Don't be that person that wears all black and and complains to everyone about your miserable love life. Just keep your head up and know that good things are coming to you.

So grab your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/friends and celebrate this day of appreciation of love and friendship :) If you have been holding back your feelings for someone, don't. Use this day as an excuse to be bold and open up completely. If you have been taking your significant other for granted, stop. Tell them how much they mean to you, and remind them of the reason you fell in love in the first place. If you are fighting to make a mediocre relationship work, maybe it's time for you to align your reality with your worthiness. And if you're lonely, surround yourself with good friends, and love yourself whole heartily...you have to love yourself before anyone else can!

Just The Way You Are

They say when you go to college, that that's where you "find yourself". You find your best friends that are going to be there for the most significant times in your life. You find your passion, what you want to do in life, though it may take a few trys...and you might change your mind...you figure it out somehow. You find your beliefs, what you stand for and what significance you want to leave behind. You find love...and though you may lose it, or you're still waiting...it's there and you know that you're capable of investing in someone and something greater than yourself. You find your strengths, after years of fighting through the weaknesses. You find responsibility, discipline, and taking care of yourself, and like all the other findings it takes LOTS of mistakes to get it right.

Life has this funny way of working things out. We're so tech-savvy these days that we stress over things that don't work out right away. We expect everything to be bigger, better, faster...yet we forget that good things take time, and that GREAT things take even longer. If you've ever spent a decent amount of time with me, I can almost guarantee that I've talked to you about StrengthsFinder 2.0. I think it's absolutely brilliant and it shed's light on finding your significance in life. Anyways, one of the co writers took that book even farther and wrote a book to help find your strengths in the workplace called "Standout". I could go on and on about how accurate this book is BUT basically it taught me that I'm a "provider" and a "teacher".

Providers begin by asking, "Is everyone okay?" You are acutely aware of others' emotional states, particularly if you sense they are feeling hurt or slighted. You are instinctively inclusive, always looking for ways to draw others into the circle and make them feel wanted, heard, and appreciated. You pay close attention to the differences between people, each person's likes, dislikes, and foibles. It's the only way to attend to their feelings, you think. You are protective of other people and will get angry or upset if you see behavior that is cavalier or dismissive of people's feelings. You are an intensely loyal and forgiving friend, but you are no pushover. Although your circle is large, it does have a perimeter, and if someone's behavior offends you, you will exile him beyond the perimeter. But this exile will not last, because, in your heart, you believe everyone can be understood, everyone can be redeemed, everyone can, in the end, be forgiven. At home and work, many will come to trust you and rely on you: you are their safe harbor, a consistently supportive presence in a world that doesn't care. And they love you for it.

Teacher's begin by asking, "What can he learn from this?" Your focus is instinctively toward the other person. Not his feelings, necessarily, but his understanding, his skills, and his performance. You see each person as a work in progress, and you are comfortable with this messiness. You don't expect him to be perfect; in fact, you don't want him to be perfect. You see the possibility in imperfection. You know that imperfection creates choice, and that choice leads to learning. Since you are energized by another person's growth, you look for signs of it. "Where was he last month?" you ask yourself. "What measurable progress have I seen?" You create novel ways to keep track of his performance and celebrate with him when he reaches new heights. You ask him a lot of questions to figure out what he knows and what he doesn't, how he learns best, what is important to him, and what journey he is on. Only then can you join him at the appropriate level and in the appropriate way. Only then can you help him learn.

When you combine "Providers" and "Teachers" you get "Investors". Your currency is people. You believe in the amazing potential of those you meet. You never stop considering what more you can do to support their growth and development. You care so much about your impact on those you serve that you constantly find ways to hone your craft, increase your knowledge, advance your qualifications. You take your professional development very seriously because you know that you have tremendous influence on other people. Sensitive and thoughtful, you always consider how people will be impacted by your message. You often follow up with people to ensure that "everything is OK." You protect your investment.

After reading my "Standout" assessment and looking back on my 4 years here at OU, I am slowly starting to understand myself. I think we get so caught up in everyone else...what everyone else is doing, how everyone else is treating you, the cards that life has dealt you...but we forget to take a step back and really take a look inward. Do something to help you better understand how YOU work and what YOU want to do with this precious time that we have here on earth. After 3 1/2 years of listening to countless professors and advisors, I feel like I've finally found myself. Things are falling apart all around me, yet I've never been so grounded in who I am and what I stand for. There's a great piece of mind in that...and because I want "everyone to be okay" I hope that you all will find yourself in this mess we call life :)