Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

I'd like to think that I understand how men work...what their "signs" are and what means what when they say or do different things. But what I do know is how women work. So guys, this ones for you. Not sure what signs she's giving you? Does she keep you in the friend zone, or is there a possibility for more? I got a group of 7 girls together to help me on this one, so I'm pretty confident that it's accurate.

Alright boys, my dad always told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, then he will find a way to be with her--texting, calling, asking her out--so we get it if you're a pretty straight forward guy. But here's the thing about girls, if they value your friendship, they are going to do whatever they can to salvage your feelings...aka they aren't going to come straight out and say I don't want to be with you because that's most likely going to make things awkward for the two of you. Your ego is shot, and well, the girl feels bad that she isn't interested.

Signs that a girl strictly wants to be your FRIEND:

Scenario: you and this girl have been hanging out as friends. You ask her to coffee or lunch (or if you're really bold, you'll ask her to dinner). The girl most likely considers you as a friend if:

• She makes sure that the "date" is during the day(night time=romantic time)
• She asks to meet you there(picking her up=possibility of a date)
• She continues to make excuses not to go..or just ignores you altogether(it's not you it's just she's avoiding the inevitable...hurting your feelings)
• She says she "forgot to text you back" (girls don't forget guys that they are interested in)
• She's distracted on her phone or not making eye contact at the "date"(eye contact, smile, touch=she's interested)
• She asks you for guy advice about another guy(get a CLUE...seriously)
• She orders first so that she can pay for her own food/etc.(guy paying=date, so don't offer if you don't want her thinking you have feelings for her)
• She invites other friends to your "date"(this is her 'I don't want to be alone with him" attempt)
• She talks about another guy that she's interested in/dated before(100% friend zone)
• She gives you side hugs(yes, friends get side hugs and guys of interest get bear hugs)

Signs that a girl wants to be WITH YOU:

Scenario: you and this girl are just friends in your eyes, but you think that she might want more. The girl is most likely wanting more if:

• She conspicuously sets you up on a double date with her and another couple(seems innocent at first because it's your friend but believe me..it's a DATE)
• She laughs at your jokes even if they aren't funny(yeah we know it boosts your ego)
• She plays it cool/hard to get(this ones tricky..if she really likes you she will watch to see if you react to her with someone else or just simply make eye contact with you)
• She asks you open ended questions so the conversation doesn't end(convo=I'm lonely or bored and you entertain me/I'm hoping to flirt)
• She is constantly making eye contact with you(studies show that if you make eye contact with a person 3 times or more you are physically attracted to them..so keep the eyes down if you're not interested!)
• She playfully hits you all the time or finds excuses to touch you(flirting 101)

Signs that a girl wants NOTHING to do with you:

Scenario: you've asked this girl out several times, and you're not sure what's going on. The girl most likely wants nothing to do with you if:

• She is always "busy"(girls make time for guys they like and even for guys that they consider just friends)
• She said she just got out of a relationship and she's not ready for another one
• She never responds to your calls/texts(who likes speaking to themselves anyways? You're better off)
• Or my personal favorite, she starts speaking in another language(I must admit I did this when I studied abroad in Italy and it is 100% *creeper* effective...just use wisely)

Of course these are generalizations! If a girl is giving you a side hug, that doesn't automatically mean that you're in the friend zone. But if you start to see multiple things in one of these categories happening then she's most likely sending you some kind of signal.

I know girls may seem confusing, but honestly we're pretty easy to read if you take the time to notice. Girls think through literally everything. Every text, every move, everything. So you have to think of us as intentional beings. Watch her body language. Is she listening intently to your every word or is she staring around the room anxiously waiting for the time to pass? Is she smiling and engaging in the conversation or is she letting you do all the talking? If we're as emotional as we're portrayed to be, you better believe we can send you the right body language signals to show you what we're feeling.

I think the hardest thing to read is when girls play "hard to get". This can get confusing because from what we've said earlier, she could genuinely be interested in someone else, OR she's trying to make you jealous. The best thing you can do is be honest with her. Tell her if you see her as one of the "bros", OR if you want more, grow a pair and ask her out! The absolute worst thing you could do is continue to reach out to her when you're not getting any reciprocation...that would be considered "*creeper*" status, and believe me you don't want to be that guy. I guess all in all dad's advice goes for both guys and girls. If a girl/boy wants to be with you then they will find a way...whether it's through body language or verbal communication girls will LET YOU KNOW if they see you as "Friends, lovers, or nothing".


*Urbandictionary* definition of a creeper:

A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. usually a close friend or relative. you know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. it is not hard to spot the creeper.

example: jeff was the "creeper" in the background