Looking Up

So for those of you who actually read my blogs, you may have noticed that I've taken a long absence from writing. While I have been busy planning Spring Break trips, apartment hunting, and trying to pass my last semester of college classes, the main reason for my absence is that I've filled that void that led me to writing in the first place... happiness! A lot has changed over the past few months, I've made new friends, learned more about old ones, applied the concept of saying "no" when I have too much going on in my life to take on more tasks, and lastly, I've embraced this inevitable ending in May, where I enter the "real world".

More than anything, I'm excited to be welcoming my new addition..."Koda Bear", a beautiful gray and white female husky puppy into my life! As if I know ANYTHING about being a mother, I've been searching for this bundle of joy for months now, and the moment I found out she was born tears filled my eyes. (I can only imagine the kind of joy that will fill my heart when I bring my own child into this world...much MUCH later in life...I'll be an emotional wreck). Anyway, I've read training book after book and spent countless hours online shopping for baby Koda :) It will come as no surprise to my friends and family that she will be 100% spoiled!

So what I really wanted to share with you guys is my "ah-ha" moment that I've had over the last few months. My journey throughout this blog was all to fill a void months ago. As simply as I can put it, I had my heartbroken, and my whole world turned upside down. My advice to you all and to myself was to smile, and LEARN from heartache. So I did. And today when I smile I truly mean it :) But here's the catch, you always hear the saying "you never know what you had until it's gone", well here's what I've learned, "you never know what you could have until you can compare it to something else"...no this doesn't mean date multiple people at once! It means, I've had people come into my life that were absolutely fantastic...handsome, smart, funny, the whole package...but until you get your heart broken and move onto someone else, you find that while that perosn was great, there's someone that fits the mold that God has planned for you EVEN more!

My ah-ha moment was over Spring Break...when I went with my two friends, Holly and Maja, to North Carolina. We went to wineries, took a trip to Charleston beach, had picnics on the lake, fancy dinners, and even saw the Bachelorette's house! Anyway, there's this guy that I met a few years back the first time I came to visit for Spring Break, and there was an immediate connection. He's what you'd call a true "southern gentleman"...plus he's 5 years older so the maturity level is almost equal ;) This time around, I wasn't sure what was going to happen between us. Both single. We've got the history. But we're miles apart, and I'm questioning my willingness to try opening up to anyone at this point in my life.

One night, we're all out at dinner having so much fun, and the next minute he asked me on a date. That's when it hit me. I'm content. I've got this amazing man sitting in front of me...he's successful, independent, thoughtful, respectable, and handsome. But I know what I've HAD and I know what I WANT...right now I want to focus on me and only me. In his usual gentlemen-like character, he understood, and I spent the remainder of the trip enjoying the time with my friends. It was the perfect way to spend my last Spring Break!

My thoughts on all of this is that when you have this amazing opportunity sitting right before your eyes and you have the willingness to say "no" for yourself, that is the moment where you know everything has happened for a reason! As if God has spent this entire time I've been trying to move on telling me to wait for this very moment where I say "oh..so I'm not ready". God has worked it all out for all of us, and we just need to wait for him to reveal who he wants us to spend the rest of our lives with. Until then, I'll enjoy his preparations!

Love is so unbelieveably complicated...I think that's why I always find myself writing about it. But as of now love excites me! I know that when my heart is ready, God will present my Prince Charming.

The thought of moving back to my hometown after graduation used to scare me...old friends, old memories, just consistency of living in one place my entire life, and worrying that I'll return and revert back to the old me. But knowing that my school years are behind me, that I've spend more time in a classroom than anything else in life, excites me! I've kicked and complained along the way, but it's time to let go of all of it and truly grow up! So i'll return to my hometown, McKinney, TX, and embrace it all...with Koda, of course!